Will your relationship last?

Here is an adaption of my compatibility test as published in Mail Online (23 October 2016) .  This is definitely a test for the established relationship.  If you’re just starting out this is something to aim for.   If you’ve been together for a while and can answer  ‘yes’ to 8 out of 11 of the following questions then you’re on to something special and long term.  Good luck.

1.    Are you best possible version of yourselves?

None of us our so straight forward that we are just the same kind of person throughout our lives.  In this relationship,  ask yourself if you are you the best person you have ever been because of the person you’re with?

2.    Do you trust each other without question?

Do you wonder where your partner is on a night out? Do you need to know every detail about where they were or whom they were with?  Are you ever tempted to check the check their phone messages or email?  If so, you can’t answer yes to this question.

3.     Do you both feel that you are the lucky one in the relationship and acknowledge it regularly?

 This has to work both ways. 

4.     Can you both imagine the long-term future and being old together

If you’ve talked about how you imagine spending your old age and you’re in each other’s scenarios, then this an obvious sign of relationship longevity.

5.     Are you best friends?

        You tell each other everything, you speak everyday and you laugh together.

6.     Do you like each other’s family and friends (the odd exception is fine ;-)

Our friends and family define us, if they like you and you like them but your partner doesn’t, something doesn’t add up.

7.     Do you support each other’s decisions?

For all the major decisions whether it be work, family or financial, are you on the same page? Or even if you can’t agree completely can you support the final decision anyway.

8.     Do you do things apart?

If you do everything together, you will soon run out of things to talk about.  Having your own hobbies or just seeing friends separately adds interest to the relationship and makes you appreciate the time you have together more.

9.     Do you have interests together?

 A healthy relationship is about finding the right balance between question 7 and 8.  There should be a least a       couple of things you enjoy doing together on a regular basis, weather it be a joint favourite TV programme or a shared hobby.

10.  Do you agree on the big stuff?

The small and medium stuff doesn’t really matter you can debate that or come to a compromise (see number 11) but it’s the really big stuff that matters like; the way you bring up your children, do you even want children? major financial decisions and where this relationship is heading.

11. Can you manage conflict?

You can’t agree with your partner all of the time on everything that would be very dull.  It’s how the disagreements pan out that matter.  Can you  have good healthy disagreement, that doesn’t escalate into something huge, then kiss and makeup at the end of it?

If you couldn’t answer yes to 8 out of 11, it doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed, but this quiz might give you a couple of areas to work on.  If you answer yes to all 11 then enjoy the bliss, you are both very lucky xx

Dating by Season

Brits spend more than five months of their lives talking about the weather (that’s a scientific fact).  The average British adult mentions it three times a day.  We even bring ourselves to post about it on social an of average of once a week.  Who can blame us though, weather is fascinating and seasons change everything!  Our wardrobes change from floral sundresses to bundles of cashmere and woolly tights. Our cravings from Pimms and ice cream to hearty stews and bottles of merlot. This got me to thinking about how the seasons affect dating and relationships.

Winter has always been known for being hard on singletons. Everywhere you look, couples are stumbling round adorably in winter coats and matching gloves while giggling over mince pies and hot chocolate. Our social lives also takes a nosedive because leaving the confines of your sofa to brave the cold and rain is, quite frankly, horribly unappealing. And on the very rare occasions you do get out for a night, the bars seem emptier and you end up spending a fortune putting your jumpers, coats, scarf, gloves and brolly in the cloakroom! However, don’t be fooled – there’s a real reason why dating sites have their biggest spike in the winter. Dreams of festive mini breaks and kissing under the mistletoe are not uncommon and there are plenty of opportunities. So be proactive, dust off your rain boots and pop on a wooly jumper, there are lots of people out there looking for a winter romance.  New years Eve presents the opportunity.

After braving the cold, harsh winter months, we welcome spring with open arms. Goodbye to hibernating at home watching endless box sets, hello to bank holidays and beer gardens. Shakespeare once wrote: "sweet lovers love the spring", and he wasn’t wrong. For singletons, it’s the perfect time to start a new relationship. Spring brings hope and excitement, fewer clothes and lighter evenings. Spring is the time of re-birth and finding someone new – so step away from the crème eggs and grab a glass of rosé at your local.

Summer is the most wonderful time of the year. The sun is shining, there’s free flowing prosecco and everyone has that beautifully healthy summer glow. The summer season brings with it hordes of opportunities for meeting new people with an abundance of holidays, weddings and party invitations. So make the most of it and broaden your social horizon with plenty of activities and events and have fun in the sun. However, my advice is to also be slightly cautious because it’s the least likely time of year for longevity in a relationship.  If you’re looking for summer fun you may be in luck, but finding something a little more deep and meaningful than the renowned summer fling be tricky, as the sun brings out our newfound love of freedom and spontaneity. However, there’s always exceptions to the rules, so don’t let this hold you back.

Oh autumn, the season when the leaves change colour and we all get addicted to pumpkin spice lattes. Autumn and dating go together like Ben & Jerry’s. Although there may be the slight temptation to watch your thermostat plunge and engross yourself in Netflix,  resist and embrace the dating season. The summer flings have ended and our thoughts turn to settling down. The weather is still warm enough for long walks and lazy pub lunches so grab a hot chocolate and head out to watch the fireworks…you never know whose name you might be writing with your sparkler.

Whatever the season, being a single means your mind is probably on meeting someone, but every season brings it's own set of distractions.  There’s so much going on in London all year round but it’s really hard to meet someone in a big city when you're busy. Try outsourcing your search to a matchmaker and you might be cuddling up to someone new by the end of the year.

5 REASONS LONDONERS USE A MATCHMAKER

The dating industry has changed beyond belief in the last ten years;  the stigma associated with using a third party to find love has all but evaporated and we are spoilt for choice when it comes to dating apps and websites.   However, do you remember before the internet when single people went to dating agencies?  Well, the dating agency option definitely hasn't gone away.  Now more commonly known as 'Matchmaking Agencies' or 'Introduction Agencies' they tend to target their service towards busy professionals.  Despite the plethora of options, more Londoners are opting for the personal approach to meeting a life partner than ever before  and here's why:

1. TIME IS SHORT AND VALUABLE

We Londoners are busy; we work hard and play hard.  It makes sense to  outsource any part of our lives that someone else can do more efficiently than ourselves.  Weeding out the time wasters requires hours of effort.  A  third of men on Tinder have never been on a single date with someone they met there, despite their best effort.  For most professionals time is valuable and best spent either earning money or enjoying it.   

Photo by maselkoo99/iStock / Getty Images

2. THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE

81% of people tell fibs in their online profile; the three biggest porkies being age, height and size. The trouble is if everyone else is lying then it's hard not to join in since everyone is being so directly compared and filtered.   A reputable matchmaker will have met everyone in their network, so even if they don't take a tape measure along to the meeting, it's  hard to get away with being 6ft if you're only 5ft 6.

4. NO MORE GUESSING GAMES

Did she like me? Will he call me? Did I offend her when I tapped her bottom? (yes!). Your matchmaker  can answer all these questions so there's no more second guessing or reading between the lines.    Your date will have been vetted to ensure they're not in the business of playing games anyway.  

5. DISCRETION

Using websites and apps for dating purposes is well and truly in the mainstream but there will always be some people who don't want their profiles in the public domain.  It's a small world out there and there is always a chance of virutally bumping into clients, colleagues, employees or exes.  For some, especially  senior professionals or people in the public eye, this isn't an option.  If this is you or that's the kind of person you're looking to meet then a matchmaker might be the answer.

Now, this all sounds very anti-online dating, Little Black Book would like to stand up and say we are absolutely not against it.  In fact if you're serious about meeting someone, do everything you can. Unless your dream date delivers pizza, Mr or Mrs Right is not going to knock on your door!  So get online if you can, go out whenever possible and get yourself a professional matchmaker!

Little Black Book is an extended network of friends offline.  If you'd like to be introduced to the love of your life by a friend, please get in touch and join our network.